The Best Lingerie for a Boudoir Photoshoot

Today, we're sharing a joint article, written alongside Nicole De Haven-Malik, the brilliant owner of Lilac & Fern Photography. She specializes in boudoir photography and intimate portraits and produces the most stunning work. We'll delve into all of the questions you may have about how boudoir photography works, how to find a photographer, how to choose the best lingerie pieces for your photo shoot, and what to expect on set. We hope you enjoy this unique take on the process!

The photos used throughout this article are courtesy of Lilac & Fern Photography and used with permission of the models. You can see more of Nicole's work on this online portfolio.

For those who don’t know you, can you give us an introduction?

Absolutely! My name is Nicole De Haven-Malik, and I’ve focused on intimate portraits since 2012 - photography that celebrates confidence and vulnerability and often involves lingerie as the wardrobe. Often viewed as a gift for a lover, intimate portraits are really about capturing what feels authentic to you, making them the ideal gift for yourself.

In 2015, I had the opportunity to work at an upscale lingerie boutique where I learned the importance of proper fit, fabric, and styling — and how the right lingerie can completely change how someone feels in their own skin.

One of my favorite parts of this work is seeing clients fall in love with lingerie, sometimes for the very first time. Intimate portraits are an opportunity to dress up for the grown, powerful version of yourself, whether you prefer lace and silk or an understated cotton high-waist. With much of my work being shot outdoors, I love the challenge of trying to find pieces that compliment the landscape. From Moab, rivers, White Sands, and Great Sand Dunes, each has a feel all its own, just like the people in front of my camera and the lingerie they wear.

Why does the right lingerie matter so much for boudoir photography?

When people think about intimate portraits, they often envision overly sexy black lingerie, the kind they set aside for date night. But for those I work with, lingerie is so much more than that! It’s a tool for transformation. I’ve seen folk (some who had never owned anything beyond a basic bra & panty set in white, black, and nude before) completely light up when they step into something that fits beautifully and feels like them. It’s my goal for people to feel that beyond their portraits!

Unlike outerwear items like dresses, lingerie sets the tone for the shoot, infusing the wearer with confidence because of its intimate nature. Sure, lingerie is subject to trends and fads but not in the way other items are. What feels good is unique to each person, making it a fast-track to highlighting my client’s personality while also highlighting their beauty. And once that outer layer is removed, as we step through vulnerability, we can see the pared down version of others in an easy, effortless way.

For more help buying and selecting the right lingerie for your boudoir photoshoot: How to choose lingerie you'll actually wear

Which items should everyone bring to their boudoir photo shoot?

Bras & panties: A staple in almost every closet, pack at least one matching 2-piece lingerie set! Look for pieces that fit beautifully: no spillage, no gaping, just smooth, supportive, and gorgeous. Let this be the foundation of your portraits. Some of my top picks for lingerie brands are Bordelle for more structured and strappy lingerie sets, Angela Friedman for silk and fancy laces and embroideries, and Else for ultra-soft mesh and comfort.

Bodysuits: One of the most under-appreciated pieces you can bring, I almost always suggest starting with a bodysuit. Whether you opt for something minimal or more elaborate, you’re going to look great but you’ll also feel comfortable with a bit more coverage and no shortage of sexiness. Wearing a bodysuit is like wearing a swimsuit, making it an easy way to transition to lingerie in front of a camera. Look for sheer, stretchy bodysuits (like those below) from Else or strappy and embroidered bodysuits from Edge O Beyond.

Robes: Add movement and a touch of luxury with a robe. Pair with a high-waist thong or nothing at all! Silk drapes beautifully and photographs like a dream. Go for either opaque or sheer for a studio setting and opt for lightweight chiffon or georgette for anything outdoors. You can find beautiful silk robes from Angela Friedman, vintage silk and beaded dressing gowns from Harlow & Fox, and dreamy kaftans perfect for layering from Arae.

1 statement piece: Think outside the box with your final look! Bring something unexpected that feels like you: a cozy sweater, a sexy harness, your favorite heels, or a vintage half slip. Really tune into your personal vibe and what you feel amazing in and bring it; this is what sets your gallery apart and deepens your connection to your portraits. Some perfect options would be velvet pieces from Evgenia (pictured below), a statement body harness from Bordelle, or a blindfold or mask from Maison Close.

What’s the biggest benefit of intimate portraits?

Honestly, boudoir can transform how someone sees themselves! The photos are beautiful - of course. But the entire experience, from prepping with hair and makeup, getting a manicure and pedicure, a fresh wax, and trying on lingerie to find what makes the final cut, it all requires being present and intentional.

Slowing down to  celebrate this chapter in your life, your body, and all the qualities that make you you is what intimate portraits are all about. It’s always so amazing to hear clients say how the entire process, from booking to holding their album in hand, they’re pulled back to that feeling of confidence and kindness when that photo was taken. Portraits are a reminder to give ourselves grace and know that life is full of ups and downs. A softer heart makes it easier to ride through those changes.

Any advice for someone nervous about their first boudoir session?

Trust the process. Whoever you end up working with for your own portraits, trust them. Let go of the reins a bit and accept their guidance. From prep ideas to the timeline and  posing and to seeing the final images in print, they won’t show you anything where you won’t love what you see.

And if they’re really good, they’ll push you just a little bit to see something you may not have originally loved 100% with gentler eyes, and you’ll be so grateful for it! Your photographer has listened to your worries and has picked up on what you love about yourself. We notice the light and how it falls across your shoulders. We focus on your beauty and let the rest fall to the side, leaving a true view of you without hiding anything. It’s all there, just more curated and intentional.

Remember, you don't have to reveal any more skin than you're comfortable with! You can add layers and sheer cover-ups, and pose in unique ways to ensure you feel confident, and your photographer can help you find the perfect way to do that. For more help with layering, read this article Creative Ways to Style Your Lingerie as Outerwear.

What actually happens on set? What's the process on the day of the shoot?

We usually start the day around noon and spend about 2 hours chatting and laughing while you get your hair and make-up done. (Some clients like to bring a friend from the start and the getting-ready phase.) From there, we dive into shooting if we’re at the studio or hotel; if we’re trekking to a nature area (my personal favorite!), we drive to the location.

On set, we settle in and transition to shooting after laying out all the wardrobe options, picking out what feels most comfortable for you and starting with that.

The first few photos are always a bit awkward; I spend this time paying  attention to the way you move naturally and your demeanor. This helps guide the shoot! I like to honor your natural ways, your vibe, but also push a bit to step outside your comfort zone. I want these photos to feel like you, so you recognize yourself when you see them, but also so you see the most lovely and authentic version of yourself and that becomes more familiar to you.

Where can I find inspiration for photos, posing, styling, etc?

What a great question! Pinterest is often a go-to for so many, but that can sometimes turn into a client wanting to recreate (or copy) photos that are of other people and from more than a few different shoots, all with different looks that can’t be done in a single shoot. So Pinterest should be used to create a moodboard, not a shot list.

I personally find a lot of inspiration from being in nature, travel, and in old photography and fashion books. When people are outdoors or on holiday, they’re the most relaxed. Paying attention to how people laugh and dance and just exist helps me see people, when they’re in front of my camera, in the moment and work with the way they move without too much guidance. I like to just witness them as they are and document that; they just happen to be in lingerie.

I guess that’s my long way of saying life is full of inspiration, and when we stop searching for a look and start embracing ourselves, the beauty becomes effortless.

Is boudoir photography only for special occasions? When else might someone book a photo shoot?

I’ve seen a lot over the years. Most commonly, folks think this is meant as a wedding gift only. I disagree though; if this is for a wedding, I encourage folk to do it as a one-year anniversary gift, when life is more settled.

Most of my clients, though, do it for themselves either just because or to celebrate a birthday or even a divorce. I love when people do something for themselves without a solid reason. Sure, a lover is lucky to get photos like this but the gift really is for yourself.

How do I find a reputable photographer?

A lot of people ask for recommendations in Facebook groups. The downside to this, though, is that there are SO many names dropped and some only share a photographer because they know that person, but they may never have worked with them.

Choosing a photographer is such a personal decision; asking friends who they worked with, what they loved, who else they considered is better. Your friend knows you and can say if so-and-so, however talented, may not work with your personality or vision.

Google is also great because you can see their website, social media, follow them for a bit, then reach out. Build a rapport with the photographer! Make sure you know the way they work and what they offer, and that you dig their personality.

Lastly, if someone would like to hire you, what is the booking process? What areas do you cover?

There are a few ways to reach out to me but, most commonly, people inquire on my website or Instagram. Then we set a time to video or phone chat so I can answer their questions in real-time, and they can get a feel for who I am. If I’m not the best fit, I’ll say so and even give suggestions for others that may work better.

After we chat, I send along an email that summarizes everything we went over so they can make a decision that works for them. If they’ve been following along for a while and know for sure they want to hire me, they can book directly on my site.

I’m based in Colorado but regularly travel coast to coast and am able to travel abroad upon request.